


It's Always Sunny in the Shatterdome

by wolfsmouth



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Gen, slight crack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-14
Updated: 2014-07-17
Packaged: 2017-12-23 10:14:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/925160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfsmouth/pseuds/wolfsmouth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A small group of short, mostly unconnected, crossover fills from the lj kink meme. Because, why not?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Charlie Saves the World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A post-war news update shocks the gang, until it doesn't

**6:00 PM  
 **On a Friday  
 **Philadelphia, PA******

“Our top story: The second in a series of post-war conferences was held earlier today in New York, this time focusing on the science behind the Rift’s closure. Leading the discussion was Dr. Newton Geiszler, the foremost expert in kaiju biology and one half of the Hong Kong research team. Along with his partner, Dr. Hermann Gotlieb, Geiszler was able to find the final bit of information used in closing the Rift for good. Dr. Gotlieb could not be in attendance today, as he had to be with his wife during the birth of their first child.”

A picture of the two together flashed on the screen. Dennis scoffed. “There’s no way a man like that should land a woman of that caliber.”

The reporter droned on, “Despite the setbacks, Dr. Geiszler’s animated demeanor and candid answers were more than enough to keep the event going.”

“Holy shit dude. That’s Charlie.”

The rest of the bar (Dee, Frank, and a handful of possibly homeless regulars) turned to the TV as Mac turned up the volume. The man on the screen looked different, clean shaven and covered in tattoos with large glasses. But with the sound up, it was impossible not to recognize the scratchy, squeaky voice rambling about kaiju and hive minds as one Charlie Kelly: previously missing person.

Charlie had volunteered for a government sponsored study combating illiteracy about year or so before the start of the war. He was let go in less than a week, but whatever they did worked. Really well. The downside was that, as his intelligence grew, so did his paranoia and agitation. Less than than a month later, Charlie took off. The police didn't help; they all but dropped the case once they realized who they were dealing with. One less member of the Gang could only make their lives easier. The gang tried to look for him themselves, but with the start of the war, free time grew scarce. Eventually, they had to carry on and live their lives. It’s what Charlie would have wanted (or so Dennis told them as he took Charlie’s video camera).

“I’m sorry to cut you off Dr. Geiszler, but we’re running out of time. Do you have any closing remarks?”

Geiszler stopped mid sentence, arms flopping down to his sides. “Yeah. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do something. Fortune favors the brave dudes.”

Mac shook his head. “This can’t be happening. Charlie, Charlie saved the world? Without us? And with that nerd?”

Dee shook her head in agreement, “Total nerd.”

“I didn't want to speak ill of the dead, but I can’t believe he left us for that.”

“Frank, this report is live. Charlie’s still alive.”

A flurry of activity brought their attention back to the TV. The reporter on the screen looked shocked and the camera quickly turned to focus on the commotion down the hall. “It appears Dr. Geiszler has collapsed. It looks like he’s bleeding from the nose and ears. There’s blood, there’s blood everywhere. Paramedics on hand are tending to the situation." The camera panned to a small team of medics armed with a stretcher and a first aid kit rushing onto the scene. "We’re now being informed that the situation is under control and that Dr. Geiszler’s injuries are not life-threatening, and merely the effects of multiple unsupervised drifts.”

Dee snorted into her beer. “See, that, that I’m not surprised about. Even when he does something cool, he still finds a way to screw it up. What a boner.”

The gang shook their heads in unison and muttered “Goddamn it Charlie”


	2. Two of a Kind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mako and Raleigh just wanted to find their cat. Instead, they found that some traits run in the family.

**9:30 PM  
 **On a Thursday  
 **Hong Kong******

“I’m telling you man, that’s totally how the cat got in there. And if he made the decision to go into your walls, then he’ll make the decision to get out himself.”

Mako and Raleigh glanced at each other in confusion. They had called the man over thinking it was Newt, but as much as the man looked and sounded like the doctor, he clearly wasn’t who they had been looking for. Unfortunately, they realized this too late, and they had been stuck listening to him talk about cats for ten minutes now. “Listen, I, I don’t think that’s how cats behave-“

“Dude, you don’t know shit about cats. Alright. If you really want that cat out of there right now, here’s what we’ll do. We get another cat-“

“I’m pretty sure Reed’s the only cat here.”

“Oh don’t worry about that. I got followed here by like ten of them. They’re probably still waiting for me outside. Anyway, what we’ll do is take a second cat, tie some string on it and-“

“Charlie? What the hell are you doing here man?” A nearly identical voice rang out from behind them, and Raleigh and Mako let out twin sighs of relief when they saw the bright tattoos and thick glasses they'd come to associate with Newt Geiszler.

“Oh hey little bro. Got a call from some dude, Harkin, Hank, something like that. Said he’s rounding up some kind of reunion for all you nerds down here. So…”

“Is mom with you? How is she?”

“Oh, Mom’s fine. She wouldn’t make the trip over here though. Doesn’t want Mac’s mom at the house alone, not after what happened last time with the curtains. Plus she’s been like, crazy busy trying to make sure we don’t die.” Mako raised an eyebrow at that.

“Mom’s living with Mrs. Mac? I thought she was living with Uncle Jack.” Both men let out an identical deep shudder at the name. Raleigh looked at Mako again, this time for an explanation, but she looked equally perplexed.

“No thank god he’s gone. He won’t stop calling me though. He asked me about his hands again, and I’m like, dude, it’s not your hands that creep me out, it’s-“

Newt cut him off there, loudly changing the subject. “So uh what’s the situation here?” Mako started to explain, but Charlie spoke over her.

“They lost their cat. Pretty sure it’s in the wall.” As if on cue, a tiny meow could be heard directly behind them.

“Oh, cat in the wall, eh? We know this game.” Newt gestured between himself and his twin. “So what’s our point of entry?”

“That’s the thing, dude. They can’t find one.”

“You know what, it probably just flattened itself out and slipped between a seam in the wall.”

Charlie high fived his twin. “Dude, that’s exactly what I’ve been saying this whole time.”

Raleigh leaned over to whisper to Mako. “Did you know there were two of them?” She shook her head. Raleigh sighed, “Looks like animal obsessions run in the family. Can’t wait until Dr. Gotlieb finds out about them.” Mako snorted, but a dual glare from the men in front of her silenced any further laughter.

“Cats are serious business man. They operate on their own rules, not nature’s. You guys with still us?”

They sighed again before nodding. It looked like there were in for a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of the dialogue in this one comes from the episode "Mac and Dennis Break Up".


	3. Newt Tries to Play a Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermann just doesn’t get it. There’s absolutely nothing weird about Nightcrawlers.  
> (Also featuring vague Hermann/Newt vibes for interested parties??)

**7:15 PM  
 **On a Monday  
 **Hong Kong******

“Honestly Newton, if this is your way of asking me to have sex, the answer is-“

“It’s not, it’s not a sex thing okay? Jesus, Hermann!”

Hermann’s looking at him like he’s an idiot, which he hadn't done since the Breach closed a week ago. Newt sighed. This was a stupid, terrible idea. But hey, the world’s saved, and Newt’s more than a little tipsy, so why not? It was just a game anyway. He and his old roommate couldn't be the only people to ever play Nightcrawlers before. Hermann really needed to loosen up.

“Then what, pray tell, is this _game_?”

“It’s just something my old roommate and I used to play. You've been in my head, you should know it’s totally not weird or anything so stop trying to _make_ it weird, man.”

The look just intensifies, so he shakes his head and takes a long drink from his bottle before continuing.

“So like, all you have to do is turn the lights off and we, well first we have to get undressed,” Hermann raises an eyebrow at that and Newt backpedals, “Like changed, ready for bed, pajamas or whatever. I mean, we _could_ get undressed if you’re into that-“

“Newton! Just finish this convoluted explanation so I can return to the _important work that still needs to be done.”_

“Alright, alright. So we get changed, turn off all the lights, and just kinda…crawl, or wiggle in your case I guess, around with each other on the floor like worms.”

“On the floor… You _are_ aware of what kind of vile things you have tossed around here in the past, yes?”

“Hey! This floor is perfectly clean and you know it! Either way, I don’t wanna play in the lab. Too many tables in here, and I learned my lesson with those bad boys before. We need to go somewhere comfortable. Like a bedroom.”

There goes the eyebrow again and Newt knows it’s time to give up. He’s starting to think Hermann might just hit him with his cane if he keeps talking. Shaking his head, he says, “Just forget it. I’m gonna find someone to play with who appreciates my games, and appreciates _me_. Have fun with your paper work, man.”

He grabs the last two beers before backing away out of the room, glaring at Hermann the whole time. There had to be one other person here who knew what he was talking about and, one way or another, Newt was going to find them.

But first, he had to find some harder liquor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I officially decided these are all getting Sunny-style timestamps. If you're not sure what Nightcrawlers is exactly, well, no one really knows for sure. All we do know is it's played in the dark and you wiggle around like worms. And it's totally not weird.
> 
> I might write a sequel for this one, where Newt does find someone, but I'm not 100% sure who it would be just yet (I'm leaning towards Raleigh honestly)


	4. Raleigh Plays Along

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Newt's Nightcrawlers quest comes to an end. He knew someone would know get it eventually. Now if they would just stop trying to ruin it, everything would be okay

**8:00 PM  
 **On a Monday  
 **Hong Kong******

“Jesus, Tendo. I swear I didn’t just make it up. Come on, one of you _has_ to know what Nightcrawlers is.”

“Newt, you can’t blame us for being skeptical. I’ve never heard of it, Mako's never heard of it, and the way you’re describing sounds a little, well, weird.”

“It’s totally not weird! Why does everyone keep saying that? Nightcrawlers is the best!”

“Nightcrawlers? What’s that?”

Mako, Newt, and Tendo looked up to see Raleigh take a seat at their table. Good, Newt thought, a new face. Maybe Raleigh wouldn't look at him like he’s crazy.

“It’s this game," he gestured, "you put on pajamas and turn off all the lights and crawl around on the floor like worms.”

Raleigh’s face lit up at that. “You mean Mud? Yance,” and there’s a pause there that made everyone hold their breath, just for a second. While the Shatterdome’s staff might have been in victory mode the last week, reality was slowly setting in for those who lost someone. But Raleigh carried on with a small, wistful smile, “Yance and I used to play that all the time as kids. Never thought I’d meet someone else who played it, thought he made it up for us.”

“Ha! I _knew_ it was a real game! You all thought I was crazy, but no. I was right and you, all of you, were wrong! You still know how to play right, dude?” Newt questioned as he took a long sip from his drink.

Raleigh nodded, “Sure. Pajamas, crawling, darkness, that’s about all you need to know, right? You ever use blankets? Like as mud or barriers? It makes it a lot more fun.”

“No! It ruins the imagination aspect of the game!”

“Actually,” Mako ventured from the other end of the table, “wouldn’t it _add_ to the imagination aspect? If you add the blankets, then you’re pretending-”

“No blankets! God, why does everyone always want to add blankets?”

“Calm down, it was just a suggestion!”

Newt snorted at that. It wasn't just a suggestion. It was a _terrible_ suggestion that ruined the entire game. Why didn’t anyone get that?

Trying to avoid yet another arguement, Raleigh turned back toward Newt. “So, you want to play?”

Newt looked up, “You’re serious. You really wanna play Nightcrawlers with me? Right now?”

“Sure," Raleigh shrugged, "Why not? We could probably use the training room.”

“Awesome,” Newt breathed. He downed the rest of his drink, and second later he was grabbing Raleigh’s hand and pulling them both out of the room, leaving Mako and Tendo alone at the table.

Raleigh tossed a look to Tendo and Mako just as he and Newt reached the door, “So. You guys coming or what?”

They shared a knowing look.

“Can’t be worse than sitting around drinking alone, right?" Tendo tried.

Mako nodded, “We should probably make sure they don’t hurt themselves.”

“Should probably bring this with us too,” Tendo said, gesturing towards the cooler.

Mako nodded again, a smile spreading across her face. They stood up and, armed with their supplies and giggling, took off after their friends.

 

And when Hermann and Herc found them later, wiggling around the floor and laughing in the dark, all they could do is sit down to watch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Newt went from Charlie-esque to "he's pretty much Charlie", and I can't say that's a problem for me. Originally, there was more with Herc and Hermann, but it didn't work quite right, so one line it is unfortunately. It also struck me that I played games pretty similar to Nightcrawlers as a child (I just liked army crawling around the house at night like a spy) so really, Newt (Charlie?) couldn't be alone in this one. I figured Raleigh was the most likely candidate, since most of my friends who had siblings all had little games they made up together.
> 
> Anyway, I had fun writing this. Nightcrawlers is one of my favorite Sunny things and I love how defensive/protective Charlie is about it. I also love that Charlie seems to play it with all his roommates, and that Schmitty implied it was only one of several weird games Charlie tried to get him to play is wonderful. What game could be stranger than a grown man trying to make his roommate wiggle around on the floor with him in the dark?


	5. The 'Dome Gets New Recruits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is it just him or are the recruits just getting weirder? Either way, these two have set the bar.

**11:00 AM  
 **On a Friday  
 **Hong Kong******

"Here"

Newt accepted the donut and coffee (half decaf for him to keep Pentecost off his back) from Tendo and gestured down the hall. "Those the new recruits?"

The taller man nodded. "Yep. Twins", he gestured to towards each of them, "Ryan and Liam McPoyle. Apparently they're like... Drift prodigies or something. One of the highest compatibilities we've had. Ever. Even for twins it was pretty impressive."

Newt shook his head and muttered into his cup. "Shit man, that's great." He watched the twins walk down the hall for a minute. They were unnaturally close and in sync, dressed like they blindly picked clothes off the floor of a thrift shop, and looked oddly sweaty.

He frowned. How were they _that_   _sweaty_? It was freezing in here. The unibrows were... different too.

"They seem a little off to you though?"

"Nah, they seemed fine when I met them. Nerves maybe?"

Newt sighed, "I dunno, maybe it's the whole sweat and matching unibrows thing. But", he flailed a bit, "it's just, there's something about them that freaks me out. I feel dirty."

Just as he finished his sentence, he saw the taller twin, Ryan he thinks, look at him. Newt watched as his eyes widened and he stopped in his tracks, nudging his brother. Liam narrowed his eyes and whispered to his brother. Then, with a nod, they quickly headed are straight for the other pair.

"Shit, what did I do? Why are they coming over here?" His voice raised in pitch as panic set in. "Oh fuck. Could, could they hear me from over there?" He bumped Tendo's shoulder, "you told me you'd tell me when I was too loud man."

The other man just rolled his eyes. "You're fine. It might not even be you. Maybe they just noticed a familiar face", he gestured at himself. "This place can be a little... confusing..." Tendo trailed off, looking behind the younger man's shoulder.

Newt perked up "What? What's up? Is something behind me?"

Just as he turned to look, he felt a hand on his shoulder and two unfamiliar voices.

"Hello Charles."

"Long time no see Charlie."

"What the hell man? Get off me!" Newt shook the hand off and stepped back. "Charles? You're not even close", the scientist snorted, "The name's Newt. Doctor Newton Geiszler. Who's Charles?"

The shorter twin looked Newt over and leaned in close, studying him.

Newt looked at Tendo over Liam's shoulder, eyes wide, and mouthed a quick 'what the hell is this?' Tendo responded with an equally confused, half-hearted gesture.

Then Liam smelled him. A deep, long inhale where Newt's hair met his neck, and pulled himself back, frowning.

"It's not him."

"Are you sure? It's been a while."

"It's not him Ryan, not enough fear or... desperation." Liam turned his attention back to the others. "Nice to meet you, Newton."

"Sorry about that Newt. You just look like someone we know."

"Yes, a very bad person one who's caused us a lot pain. So if you see him", Liam leaned in close again, his voice quieting, "tell us. We have some... unfinished business", he trailed off with a hiss. He nodded at Tendo in a quick greeting before turning. "Come on Ryan. Let's see if they made our room nice and clammy."

Ryan waved to the other pair, and with that, the brothers walked off.

Newt and Tendo watched them walk away in confused silence.

"Did, did he say "our room"? Like singular?"

"N-nice and clammy?"

Both men looked at each other in horror and gave a deep shudder.

"Shit, it's too early for this. I need a drink"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time no post, I know :( But I'm back! And I have some other ideas! Also, feel free to comment with any requests, or I guess you can send them to my tumblr (lemonynarrators is my name on there)
> 
> Anyway, McPoyles meet Pacific Rim. Poor Newt, it can only go downhill for him. I have no idea when exactly this is set also?
> 
> This is secretly dedicated to a certain friend of mine who might just secretly be a McPoyle herself (minus the unibrow and actual creepy stuff. Mostly she just really likes milk and always has clammy hands)


End file.
